“Can I be two when I am only one?”

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“Can I be two when I am only one?”

Seems I’m just catching up with famous authors who influenced people like CS Lewis and R. J Tolkien.  I think the literary side of my brain took longer to develop. So here at 90  I’m discovering a new author–George Macdonald (don’t be shocked. I should have majored in English Lit at Wheaton College!)  I’ve never read his famous fantasy novel, Phantastes, which opened new doors for Lewis and influenced his return to Christianity. But on my way to 91,  I’ll put it on my Kindle to find out what impressed Lewis so.

I recently found a little book of Macdonald’s at my son’s home–Diary of an Old Soul. I certainly identified with the “old soul” part this morning as I moved deck furniture around and off—ready for a much-needed “power-washing.  I don’t identify with all of the 366 sonnets Macdonald wrote — but here’s one I heavily underlined:

Two things at once, thou know’st I cannot think.

When busy with the work thou givest me,

I cannot consciously think then of thee. 

Then why, when next thou lookest o’er the brink

Of my horizon, should my spirit shrink, 

Reproached and fearful, nor to greet thee run?

Can I be two when I am only one?

My problem exactly. Working at my desk, fashioning sentences, hunting for words, I am not consciously thinking of God’s direction.  But  even as He controls the universe, answers billions of prayers at once, sends His angels to protect and comfort His children, He remembers me. A thought too big to understand.

What a comfort to know that during the months– yes, years–I researched,wrote and rewrote Daughters of Deliverance,  and The Queen’s Daughters,  I felt God’s guidance and presence and encouragement when I  was too discouraged to go on. If you’ve read my books about Katharine Bushnell, perhaps you saw  godly insights or the development of Kate’s character  that reflected a touch of God– that for a moment said “yes” to Macdonald’s question.  “Can I be two when I am only one?”

 

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About lorrylutz.com

My husband and I spent 22 years working with African young people in South Africa under Apartheid, which deepened my passion for the disenfranchised. During regular returns to the US I earned my MA in Communications at Wheaton Graduate School. Later I became head of publications for Partners International and edited a quarterly magazine. In the 90's I directed the AD2000 Women's Track networking with thousands of international women leaders in Christian ministry. I have written/published twelve books on missions, biography, fiction, most recently two biographical novels about Dr. Katharine Bushnell, nineteenth century crusader against what is known today as trafficking. Daughters of Deliverance and The Queen's Daughters are available in Kindle as well as print on Amazon. I was married to Allen, now deceased, my lifelong sweetheart. We had four sons,( one deceased,) one daughter, and 18 grandchildren. How can I help but praise God for the full life He's given me, and the opportunities even in my senior years, to live purposefully.

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